Gail (gailmarie) wrote,

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I need something to believe in, breathe in sanctuary in the easy silence that you make for me...

I still haven't been able to see my new niece, obviously. She's 1200 miles away. It's clear that I won't be able to take a weekend trip up there, either. Flights are expensive, and the money is better spent elsewhere. This means that the first opportunity I'll have to meet her is winter break. However, the possibility that I won't be traveling north this winter is increasing exponentially. If I do go, it will probably be 4-7 days, maximum. I'd like to see friends, and the little family that is still there, but I'll be in Wisconsin, without a car, and I wouldn't be able to stay out late. Who even knows if anyone will be around this winter. I'm 99% sure that by December 24th, I'll be back in Florida. I guess a partial family for Christmas is better than nothing.

On the upside, the money I was going to spend on a round-trip plane ticket from MCO to MKE is now planned for a Disney weekend in two and a half weeks with my sister Emily and her husband Tom. We will most likely be hitting up Mickey's Not-So-Scary Halloween Party at Magic Kingdom and the Food and Wine Festival at EPCOT. And I am really looking forward to it. I keep hoping for some kind of break, and it just isn't coming. Weekends are so fast and the weeks is consumed with classes. Even the enjoyable things are starting to feel stressful.

The last time I felt this restless and overwhelmed my parents were selling the house, I impulse bought a round-trip plane ticket for 33 days in Paris, dropped out of school for a semester (though at the time, the length was yet undetermined), and ended up crashing on my sister's couch for 8 months before transferring to a new school and becoming a Florida resident.

My life can't afford those kinds of drastic, altering changes again. I'm still recovering from the last ones.

Bedtime was supposed to be an hour ago...

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