Finding an apartment has become the bane of my existence since I allowed it to penetrate my thoughts these past two days. All of the apartments in my area are crummy shitholes masquerading as decent housing. I understand that student housing is generally subpar, but it doesn't help that the area in which I live apparently sucks ass. I was on apartmentratings.com and I can't even express to you the sheer amount of reviews that discussed robberies, vandalism, and even rape. Fan-fucking-tastic.

So it makes me think I should just stay put. I really don't like my apartment, but it's not terrible. I wish I had different roommates, not because they aren't nice people, but because none of us really get along. We are severely different people with intensely different interests/majors/lives/futures. I don't know if any of them are staying here next year...I guess it wouldn't be terrible if I stayed.

The problem is that I have to sign the new lease by tomorrow if I want to keep my apartment (and thus, not have to move my shit, and moreover, not have that two weeks in which I'd be kicked out while they fix up the apartments for new tenants). But I'm just not sure. And while I feel like I should be a grown-up and figure this all out on my own, my mom was helping my sister Emily when she was looking for an apartment, calling places and getting info. She's done nothing but send me emails saying, "have you had a chance to look at apartments?" It's stressful, and she knows that, but she's doing next-to-nothing to help. I'm almost starting to think that it's part of her "make Gail drop out of school because it will be less of a financial burden" plan. Which, of course, she is still on.

And now I'm going to pack to go to my mother's house. It may be hostile and cold, but it's the closest thing I have to a "home" or place where I feel comfortable.


How does it feel to have supportive parents? I don't know what that's like...