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And I unfold...

(from poofgone.com archives)

J'avais pensé about actors and theatre and film tonight, all because of watching LotR: The Two Towers. The commentary is always really entertaining, but also so interesting and thought-provoking. It made me want to be a part of it all. I want to be a part of a movie, I want to make something happen, I want to be an intricate part. I guess going into film studies would be a good route, then. But right now, it seems so inconceivable. I'm in the middle of Indiana. If I were serious about film, I should be going out to California. I should own a camcorder. I should have known by now...right? I feel behind. Because I was so decided upon theatre, when I really wasn't sure about that...it was just the thing I did in high school. It was my life. I love it, of course, but when it becomes so second nature, and so like a job...it's difficult to remain passionate about it. And professional theatre is so much harder, it would seem, than making movies. More opportunities. More jobs, more connections, more networking, more well-known. Now, I'm not in it to become famous, but I think it would be so very cool to make that kind of an impact on people that I could be as much of a household name as Spielberg, Bruckheimer, or Tarantino. I don't know what I want to be, but those guys know what they are doing and are good at it. And that's what I want. Respect for being the best. I could handle being an actor too. In the TT commentary, someone was talking about Brad Dourif (who plays Grima Wormtongue) and how he's a method actor and from the first day on the set, he spoke only in a British accent, both on- and off-screen. He was so committed and serious that he never broke that aspect of his character, for the entire months of filming. Simply amazing, and no matter how much he disturbed me in the film, he did an excellent job and was truly sensational. His character was strong and compelling. Very captivating. And I want to be able to do that one day.

Enough about acting and film...how about them Cubs?

Lots on my mind right now, but I think I'm just going to try to sleep it off and ignore it all. Try to end my weekend on a positive note as I skip on back to school. I'll be home in a couple weeks anyhow. And resolution is overrated.

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