Gail (gailmarie) wrote,

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If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago, I might not be alone

Slept fine. Not good, but it wasn't shitty.

Had some funky dreams. I was crying because a priest(?) who was acting as a sort of guidance counselor/parole officer, told me that I couldn't stage manage the musical because I was doing pot again and I was supposed to have stopped.

Yes, because I am a huge drug addict. Especially for pot.

The next part was even more strange. I back my car out to the end of the driveway, then get out to walk around the neighbor hood...collecting something. I come back and realize that I've locked my keys and purse inside the house. I'm about to attempt to break in when my mom comes home. Strange because it's supposed to be about 9am, but then the sun starts to go down rapidly fast and it's about 6pm. I'm still in a hurry, but can't seem to get into the house to get my keys. A car passes with noticeably a teacher (I can picture the face, but I have no idea who it is. One of the new guys) in it who makes eye contact with me in that "wow. I really want you" type of shocked ways. I smile and wave cutely.

This next part came earlier in the dream, but I don't remember where. We are outside the auditorium setting up a stand to sell t-shirts. Because we get the idea that instead of just selling them to the cast and crew, we'd go all Broadway and try to sell them to parents and patrons as well. However, we are having issues because the shirts are going for $12, and everyone keeps paying with $15 and needing 3 dollars back as change, but we had run out of dollar bills.


Blarg. I have to be at school before 11. I guess I should be happy I don't really have school at all. But still. 6 hours of tech isn't very appealing right now. At least it's not 10 hours like Saturday.

And for the love of god, why can I not get over it already?

I'm ever swiftly moving
trying to escape this desire
the yearning to be near you

I do what I have to do
but I have the sense to recognize
that I don't know how to let you go
deep within I'm shaken by the violence
of existing for only you
I know I can't be with you

I do what I have to do
and I have sense to recognize but
I don't know how to let you go.
"Do What You Have To Do" - Sarah McLachlan

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