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I've calmed down a bit.

I'm still horribly disappointed with the way people were acting tonight, and like I said to Linz...I love them all dearly, but I didn't like a single one of them tonight.

They brought me to tears...practically while they were still there. I was cleaning up thing, organizing and straightening to avoid burst out in sobs and telling them to all just leave because they were horrible people.

Part of me wishes that I would have. I should have just kicked them out. They are my FRIENDS. They shouldn't be allowed to make me feel like that.

And something I said to both Linz and Peter. I felt disrespected. And that hurts, because it's something I hold in high regard. Respect is important, and I felt like SHIT tonight.

I'm overall just shocked that they were so rude. I was being a really good hostess and getting people drinks and food. I felt important and like they appreciated me being there. And then things went downhill, half-way through Trivial Pursuit and I just felt used. And that's a shitty way to feel.

God, I just wanted them out of my house. I'm so glad they all had curfew. I couldn't deal with that anymore.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 30th, 2002 11:42 pm (UTC)
I've decided that becoming a mere spectator for more of your harsh moments is just not enough anymore, therefor I am going to be a commentator as you have for me. I'm not sure to whom you are refering the meanness, I hope for his sake that it's not Garvey, and believe me I've felt the same way before. I used to have a lot of people who would treat me like shit because I'd let them and because it felt like my assigned role in the group, you know the bitch, but I think it's more like the mother role here. Perhaps it's almost ironic that you hate your mother so, and yet you seem to personify that lovable mother role...ironic might be to good for a different situation, this is more along the lines of not wanting to be like your mom. But that is fine, this has nothing really to do with that. What you should realize is that no matter how they treat you or what shit you are seemingly forced to take that there is always someone there who will help you, had I gone I assure you I would have been in that role, sadly sometimes you have to rely on the knowledge that most people don't see that their behavior was wrong until way after the fact. Just let them know, and let them know big time, what the fuck they did wrong. Yawm, it's getting late, I hope that this helps but it might not...if it doesn't I'm usually good with advice stuff, just ask me.
Dec. 1st, 2002 08:45 am (UTC)
Thanks Zack. It did help.

It's strange because the people that were here weren't bad people. They just sort of acted badly and all that. Garvey was one of them and the other people were Candace, Cark (her little brother), Rob, Jason, and Carly Green came for the last half-hour. And though I tried to make it known I was pissed, like saying "I hate you ALL right now!!" they took it mostly as a joke, because I say shit like that all the time.

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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