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The moments of pleasure, just never do last

*sigh*

Long day. I'm tired.

I guess all in all things didn't go too badly.

My sister was a wreck. Her husband is an only child, and I think both of his parents families were small (2 or 3 kids). So since she was the only woman in the immediate family, she had to help plan a lot of this. She went with to buy the burial plot and such. It's been a hard week. She's barely eaten, and she's been smoking a lot. Tom (her husband) said that he couldn't believe how hard everything was for her. He said he did his crying Sunday and Monday, and was basically done. He can't believe how her tears can keep coming.

:(

She's definitely one of us. My family...we are big criers.

The wake was actually from 4 until 9, so we got there at 4 and stayed the entire time. It's very draining just to be in a funeral home. I hate them. The smell...that mix of every flower sent imaginable. And the quiet hushed atmosphere. It's very uncomfortable. And yet very familiar.

Our family sat around on some couches and chairs near the back and hung out there the entire time. The base family (immediate 7 members, give or take a spouse) was all there. And a couple of my aunts, an uncle, and my grandma all came by. It was very nice of them.

And my niece is so very precious. She made me cry. It was a quiet part of the night, a minister came in just to say a little prayer and Zoe was sitting on my lap. When he had finished...
Zoe: I didn't want Tom's mom to die.
Me: Mmm-hmm.
Zoe: Because she was a real nice lady.
Me: Yes.
Zoe: And she just got too old.
Me: She wasn't that old. She was grandma's age. But she was sick.
Zoe: ...or sick. Are you crying?
Me: No.
Zoe: I'm not crying. I'm crying on the inside. Grown-ups sometimes cry on the inside and sometimes kids can do that too.

She had the saddest face and when she was talking about crying on the inside, she put her hand over her heart like she was actually very upset about it. She's a very smart 6 year old. Tomorrow is her first day of first grade! God, she's gotten big. Mikey's in third grade. I was in third grade when he was born. I remember it so well.

After the wake, my immediate family minus Emily and Tom (they were going to go home with Tom's father) plus a couple of Em and Tom's friends Jamie and Suzie all went to TGI Fridays for a late dinner. 10 of us in all.

So now I've just gotten home. And am very subdued and pensive.

And I've brought back this icon, because I liked it, and because it's been storming all night. Not pretty purple lightning like this, but bright white bolts. We are hoping the rain stops before the morning. :(

I'll probably take a quick shower tonight so I won't have to wake up too early tomorrow. The funeral is at 10, so I'll have to be up by 9. Just like today. But the STUNTS meeting tomorrow is at 6:30pm. God, the meeting today feels like forever ago.

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