Gail (gailmarie) wrote,
Gail
gailmarie

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Pat on the back and better luck next time

I think I'm going to cry again.

Candace wants to get a Journal.

As if I don't censor myself enough already.

And I saw this coming. Recently, I've felt it nearing. More and more people I actually know are going to wind up having them. I don't want to become friend's only. I don't want to have to make custom friends groups to weed out the people I don't want knowing certain things. I do that enough already, for god's sake. The fact that I do that at all upsets me. This would be worse because I trust the people who I know who have journals.

One more thing to close in on me. To cut off more of my air.

Christ.

I don't want to discourage it, because that's selfish of me. And this is a good outlet. But I take such ownership over this and there are some people I just don't want reading what I've written. There are so many whom I don't want to know how I'm feeling. Most people think I've been fine recently. I don't want them reading this finding out how shitty I've been feeling.

I swear to god. This would give me a reason to get one of those stupid ass uJournals. I haven't said anything thus far, but I think that's just dumb. There is no need for two journals, and I don't like the idea of just picking up and moving. Not to mention the fact that I have a permanant account here.

I WILL NOT BE PUSHED AWAY!

God, I don't know what to do. Maybe it will all blow over. Please god let it all blow over...

Edit: Due to some quick thinking on my part, I suggested that she get a uJournal, which will hopefully put enough distance between the two that she'll leave LJ alone. Maybe I can just keep suggesting that. Especially with the "no code" perks...
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