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I like watching the puddles gather rain

I'm a better person in small groups. In my opinion. This I have learned.

Other than that, the night was okay. Earlier at the barbecue I was distant. I didn't feel like small talking, and mingling wasn't appealing. Big group outings just aren't as much fun when I can't pick and choose who's there. That sounds selfish, but the smaller the group, the more chance that I'll have friends. And sure, I'm 'friends' with all of those people. But there are some I just don't like. Mostly some of the girls that I'm not so much a fan of. *le sigh*

I'm so picky.

Later it was better though. I crawled out of my cocoon and a lot of people left. Things felt a bit better. I also talked to Jason about what was bothering me.

It made me feel a little better about the Amanda and Nikki situations. And I resolved what I thought was up with Carly before the barbecue. And I want to re-acquaint myself with my friends. The ones I've know since 6th grade. The ones that I have been feeling distanced from.

Allie comes home in two weeks. It's only been a week. If I didn't have Jason, I'd probably explode by then.

And now, I'm feeling a bit shaky and I need to write Candace a car letter, and Allie another letter to send to Alaska. It'll probably be the last. I don't know how long it takes to get mail up there, and I want to make sure she gets it.

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July 2008


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