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I'm tired. I got my normal 11-ish hours of sleep. What else is there to do when it's summer and I don't have a job?

I suppose I should be doing something with my life and I'm not.

I feel like I'm distancing myself from my friends, even though I see them everyday. I'm online all the time, for some reason I just keep AIM on, but half the time I don't want to talk to anyone. There are a few people that I enjoy talking with, but they aren't Nikki or Candace who IM me everyday.

Why not just turn it off? I don't know.

Usually when I realize that there is something wrong with me, or something bothers me, I try to fix it. But recently I have been finding errors and not knowing what to do with them. Should I try and make myself want to be overly social again?

I'm too good at small talk. It's the deeper, more intellectual shit that I need now. And Allie's in Alaska for three week. There are other people I like to talk to, but they are seemingly unavailable, or not at interactive as I would hope. I like conversation rather than me talking to someone without feedback.

I want in depth. All I get is trivial.

I still don't think I know who I am anymore.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 27th, 2002 10:52 am (UTC)
Don't try to make yourself overly social! I don't think that can be forced. I'm sure that if you stay unsocial long enough you'll naturally swing back around to being super duper social.
Or lose all your friends and stay indoors for the rest of your life.
But i'm sure that won't happen!

And maybe we could trade. I can't do small talk AT ALL. I start out with deep stuff [well, kind of] and so I'm bad with new people. Small talk sucks. or i suck at it. im gonna end now
Jun. 27th, 2002 11:09 am (UTC)
Small talk is definitely a talent that girls seem to have in abundence. There's a reason you can hang out with the same people everyday for hours at a time and not learn anything about them. Small talk sucks.

And the more I think about it, the more I realize that I hate being overly social. I always plan big get togethers and mingle with a ton of people at parties, but I much prefer smaller things. One-on-one conversations or whatever.

I should work on doing more of what I want, despite what others think. Whenever I do that though, people ask me if I'm alright and if I want to talk. Silly people.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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