There are times when I'll think back to something I said and think, "Dammit, what the hell am I on? That's so stupid and not me." I can imagine the other person (today it's Amanda), rolling his or her eyes and later talking to someone else and saying "God, Gail was being so annoying...or shallow...or concieted...today". I guess I am, in a way, all of these things.
Now, I am not as bad as most, I'm sure. The girls who cause you to wonder if they even have a brain in their head. But nevertheless, I do things that even I regret. Something as stupid as saying if I were Esmeralda, I would pick Phoebus over Quasimodo. (French reference...I'm sorry).
I know that I do things that people probably talk about behind my back. And I know that I have to watch the things I say. I love Amanda, but I know that there are things I said to her today, that may come full circle. Those damn "Deerfield Secrets". Everyone keeps it to themselves...and one other person, and soon it's not even a secret. I do it too. Only when it's not important though. "So and so has a major crush on whoever". Big deal? So what? It's not like I would broadcast it, but maybe tell one person. Those things blow over anyways, and if I know it's an ACTUAL secret, hell, it doesn't leave my lips. I wouldn't even write it down, because...well, it's a secret.
This entry had no point, except to apparently bash myself. I apologize.