March 29th, 2008

Covered in beeeees

"My resolution is to get healthier while still destroying myself with alcohol and drugs."

I've been procrastinating terribly because I decided to finally check out someecards.com.

I've noticed that they make hilarious Facebook bumper stickers, so I decided to go to the actual website. Their slogan is "when you care enough to hit send" and the cards are just hilarious.

I just sent out four.


You must check out these two...they are couple of my favorites:
- So topical
- Who doesn't love Passover cards?


Ugh...back to work.
Keira - Atonement

-Do you not think him a handsome man, miss? -Yes. Yes, I dare say he is.

Pride and Prejudice was on during my dinner break (I have resolved to keep the TV off all weekend, but I do like to have it on while I eat, so I get about 10-15 minutes of TV viewing each meal).

Anyway, I couldn't resist...


Mr. Darcy: So this is your opinion of me. Thank you for explaining so fully. Perhaps these offences might have be overlooked had not your pride been hurt by my honesty...
Elizabeth Bennet: My pride?
Mr. Darcy: ...in admitting scruples about our relationship. Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your circumstances?
Elizabeth Bennet: And those are the words of a gentleman. From the first moment I met you, your arrogance and conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others made me realize that you were the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry.
[They look at each other for a long time as though about to kiss]
Mr. Darcy: Forgive me, madam, for taking up so much of your time.


Sadly, that wasn't the part I saw...but I did turn it on just in time for my favorite facial feature of the entire film. When Elizabeth (with her aunt and uncle) arrives at Pemberley and there's a medium shot of her face and she sort of giggles to herself in a way that indicates how ridiculous she finds the large manor to be, as though a house like that couldn't possibly exist in the real world.

It's the same reaction you would have if someone came up to you and asked to borrow a billion dollars. "Yeah, sure. Do you want it in cash form, or will you take a check?"
HP - Rita - Reporting with Style

-There was no third Hardy Boy. -Oh really? Just like there was no apocalypse? He shoots, he scores!

And because this is just fabulous:

More strife in Iraq. U.S. financial system in crisis. Rice prices soar.

None of these headlines will matter a bit, though, if two men pursuing a lawsuit in a court in Hawaii turn out to be right. They think a giant particle accelerator that will begin smashing protons together outside Geneva this summer might produce a black hole that will spell the end of the Earth - and maybe the universe.



From the International Herald Tribune article, Try this headline: Black Hole Eats Earth.


I love how remarkably blasé the IHT is about that.

But I'm adding it to my list of "thing that will cause an apocalypse, possibly around December 2012."

And if you're laughing because you think I don't actually have a list...think again. I started it in Geography on Thursday when I added "a change in the magnetism of the poles." It would literally cause airplanes to fall out of the sky.


So if you're curious...

Things That Will Cause an Apocalypse, Possibly Around December 2012:
- Asteroid colliding with Earth (that's an easy one)
- Change in magnetism of the poles
- Change in speed of Earth's rotation (we'd be so fucked)
- Black hole from particle accelerator (apparently)
- Something massive to do with the changing of the Mayan calendar from the fifth world to the sixth
- Nuclear holocaust (and resulting nuclear winter, another gimme)


Sadly (and morbidly), I think I'm going to be pretty disappointed if the world doesn't come to an end then. It'll be Y2K all over again. And not the cool, Family Guy version.