The past couple days I guess I've been noticeably upset because people keep asking, "Are you okay?" or "How you doing?" like I'm some sort of frail china doll that's about to shatter.
At the same time, I guess I feel like a frail china doll that's about to shatter, so it's alright.
Today was today.
I was so busy that I barely got a chance to think, let alone a chance to start feeling miserable.
Except during theatre. When I was going to ask if I could miss rehearsal tonight but before I could do that Carl said that too many people were coming up and saying "oh, I can't make it this day, or this day" and that that was unacceptable. So I decided to not even try.
But it upset me. Because I felt like I had a good reason.
And so even though I had today as a conflict for Dance Show and didn't have to be there, I stayed after school until rehearsal and went to rehearsal. Which sucked. And I should be "reviewing my lines every night" like the rest of the cast.
Because I don't have enough to deal with, or anything.
But whatever. It was my choice to do the Spring Play and Dance Show. And homework isn't really a problem. I didn't quite choose to have people that I care about die, but that's another story, I suppose.
*sigh* So basically I was just constantly busy all day. And even as I got in the car at 8:35 I though "hey, there's still 25 minutes of shiva tonight". But I wasn't dressed nicely (or anything resembling nice. I look like a slob) and by the time I would get there, I'd have about 15 minutes. Maybe I'll be able to make it tomorrow.
I'm so tired. I'm so stressed. I'm so upset.
It feels like one of those late spring/early summer nights where it should be raining, a soft, constant, April shower.
It's not raining, and it isn't quite to the end of summer, but it is a beautiful 72°F outside.
I like this song a lot. It's pretty and talks of love. In a good way.