April 13th, 2003

Alanis - Unsexy

And nothing is taken or torn from you

I've made my first amazon.com order using my own money and making my own decisions.

And though I could have gotten sucked in and spent well over $100, I sort of controlled myself and spent $53.97. And in all fairness, $23 of those were a birthday present for Caitlin. I just spend $18 to reserve HP and the Order of the Phoenix, and I bought the Vanessa Carlton CD that I've wanted.

I was going to go way out there with chick music (Michelle Branch, Stretch Princess and Bree Sharp) in addition to the Vanessa Carlton. But I controlled myself. And if I really wanted, I could burn all of my mp3s onto a CD. But I wanted to own the Vanessa Carlton CD. 'Cause I think it's good.

So I really did control myself.

But the internet makes everything too easy. Too quick. I can transfer money from my savings to my checking in a matter of seconds, and within the same minute be at amazon.com using 1-click shopping to charge it all to a debit card withdrawing directly from checking.

Too easy. Dangerous. Must use control. MUST.
  • Current Music
    Lost on Me - Stretch Princess

No words to say, no words to convey this feeling inside I have for you

The service is at 1 in Wilmette. It's not that far, but I'm being picked up by Goldy, who's also picking up Candace and Garvey.

There are a lot more people coming than I thought. I figured it would just be me, Amanda, Allie and Nikki. But everyone planning to come to both the service and the shiva at 4:30.

Eh, I need to get ready, I'm being picked up in a half-hour.

Today is so stressful. I'm shaky. I can't pick up my glass of juice without it shaking in my hand.

They always happen right on top of each other, don't they? Those bad times. Those bad days. They can't give you time to get over one before they pile on another.

I'll just plan on crying for the next two days straight.
  • Current Music
    For You - Tracy Chapman