April 2nd, 2003

...dreamers

I hear you're counting sheep again, Mary Jane. What's the point of trying to dream anymore?

Today was interesting, eventful and sad all at the same time.

Zoe came over earlier to plan our roadtrip. Since it was beautiful outside, we set out a blanket on my driveway and took a couple atlases to plot a potential journey.

From home (Chicago) we go to:
- Mille Lacs Kathio State Park in Minnesota
- Spruce Woods Provencial Park in Manitoba, Canada
- Theodore Roosevelt National Park in Medora, North Dakota
- Crooked Creek on Fort Peck Lake in Winnet, Montana
- Fairy Lake (or Half Moon) Campgrounds in Bozeman, Montana
- A hostel for 2.5 days in West Yellowstone, Wyoming
- Keyhold State Park in Moorcroft, Wyoming
- Cedar Pass Campgrounds at Badlands National Park in Interior, South Dakota
- A hotel in Sioux Falls, South Dakota
- A hotel in Cedar Rapids, Iowa

12 days. 6 states, one Canada. Lots of camping and national parks. Mmm...roughing it! And if it rains a lot, we're screwed.

And if anyone has any suggestions, or other information on any of these places, we are definitely flexible and willing to change. We basically know nothing about any of it.


Then Zack came over and the three of us hung out until we finished the itinerary. Then Patty reminded me that today is Election Day, so they came with me as "moral support" as I went and voted for people I've never heard of into positions that I don't understand. I feel more un-American now than if I hadn't voted...because literally, I was picked based on names, and if there was a woman, I automatically voted for her. So bad! But it's only village trustees and school board and other stupid shit. So.

Then we went to Zoe's for a snack and started to watch Chocolat. After an hour (at 6:45), we had to leave because Zoe was seeing a movie with her parents. So Zack and I went to his house to get him pants (it got cold...and he's a wuss) then went to Baker's Square for dinner. Blar.

We didn't know what to do after, and we had until 9:30 until Zoe was going to join us again...so we went to hang out at Barnes & Noble for 2 hours. AHHH! It was fun and entertaining in that Zack and I got to chat a lot...but it's fucking Barnes and Noble and we were there for 2 hours.

Then! Zoe has the nerve to call and say that she's too tired and it just going home.

Like hell! So the two of us went back over to her house, finished watching Chocolat and stayed another 2 hours for spite. 'Twas fun and good. Zack is good peoples. ;-)


Home now. And tired. And quite headachy...though I've been clenching my teeth again. Silly stress.

I NEED to open a checking account tomorrow. Note to self: do that.
  • Current Music
    Mary Jane - Alanis Morrisette
...dreamers

Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name

This is the portion of the show that we would like to call Collapse )

So that was that. I say that I don't really care (because I really don't feel as though I mind much)...but the fact that I've told a lot of people the story, and felt compelled to write about it in detail leads me to believe that it hurts deep down, where I'm trying not to let it get to me.

It's like Catcher in the Rye where he says on the first page that his parents don't influence him (or something), but the fact that he mentions is right away shows that they do. Or The Great Gatsby where Nick begins by explaining that he's unbiased, and then passes a judgment in the next sentence, using an "in my opinion" statement.

So yeah. Maybe it hurts more than I let on. But I have friends who love me, so there. :-p
  • Current Music
    Flinch - Alanis Morissette
...dreamers

This man knows not how this information has effected me

The first part of today was good. The last part fucking sucked.

So Rob and Bridgette decided to abduct me, and we went to Target, then to Baker's Square. We picked up Charlie and all went back to Bridgette's until 6:30-ish.

I called back Caitlin and Zack and told them that we would be hanging at Rob's, because we all left Bridgette when she was going to have dinner.



We were at Rob's and slowly more and more people were coming. It felt strange. But I passed it off, and we all sat around. Caitlin and I ended up being the only girls with 7 guys. Whatever, I've been in those positions before. A lot. I'm always the only girl.

But this bunch of guys fed off each other in a bad way. Take away a couple and it would have been a fine, mellow (or at least quieter) evening. And we sent a few people off to get a movie. Caitlin was there to act as a check for Brian and Gatto.

They came back with Ghost Ship. A) It's quite possibly the worst movie ever. Horrible premise and plot. B) It was horribly gorey and very unnecessarily at that. C) It was scary. I don't do scary movies well. I get scared VERY easily. So yes. I thought it was scary. I know it was bad...very bad...but it was still scary.

I could have dealt with it. Honestly. I screamed a few times. I could have covered my eyes...I did cover my eyes quite a bit. But Zack and Rob decided to startle me outside the movie by poking me or whispering in my ear at opportune times. So I would scream loudly. Because I don't DEAL WELL with things like that.

Nothing against the two of them, because I love them both and I could have handled that as well. Except that they had a count going and wanted to get to 17. So overall, I was screaming about every 5 minutes because the movie wasn't that long.


Then it ended and I was very anxious to get the lights back on and to try and settle down. Have the boys start playing video games and ping pong again...and I could sit there with Caitlin and have a bit of girl talk.

Settle down. That's what I wanted.

That's not what happened though.

The idiots wouldn't turn the lights back on, and they turned off the TV so it was pitch black in the basement and it was creeping the fuck out of me. To the point where I wanted to cry. So I just kept yelling for them to turn the lights back on...hoping like hell that SOMEONE would get so ANNOYED by my yelling that they'd want to make it stop. I was screeching at the top of my lungs, and no one was doing anything. About 5 of the boys were brawling on the floor and every once in a while someone would grab my leg and I'd scream again.

It was like this for probably 10 minutes. Pitch black. Me scared out of my mind...for no good reason.


So I mumbled "I can't take this, I want to go home". Caitlin was sitting next to me and offered to drive me home, since I hadn't driven today. So we found our way up in the dark and as we were approaching the base of the stairs where the switches were...the lights came on.

Zack was like "You're not really leaving?" and apparently it was really noticeable that I was pissed off. Charlie and Rob both gave me hugs (though I didn't really return them) and we left a few minutes later.


It's the first time in a VERY long time...if not EVER that I have left a party early.

They were just being dicks about it all, and I'm definitely not happy with the lot of them.


I'm more upset than angry. But I was angry. So I'm using my angry icon. Because fuck you all.
  • Current Music
    Flinch - Alanis Morissette