February 23rd, 2003


I have so much to lose here in this lonely place

I love this song. Love it. SO much. It was in STUNTS this year...a couple girls did a dance to it. So good.

but I fear
I have nothing to give
I have so much
to lose here in this lonely place
tangled up in our embrace
there's nothing I'd like better than
to fall

but I fear
I have nothing to give.
I have so much to lose.
I have nothing to give.
We have so much to lose...

[/gratuitous lyrics posting]

Church this morning. Booooring. The kids were uber cute though, and it wasn't too bad. Last day of this silly rotation thing. THANK GOD! No more church for me until Christmas Eve! The way it should be, dammit.

[/evil church rant]

I've been using the bracket-ish, html-like things a lot lately. They just work so nicely to categorize things. Yay.

[/end random]

And now, I have a TON of homework to do. I also need a nap and some really food for lunch. As much as I love cheese, sausage and Triscuts...FOOD!

  • Current Music
    Fear - Sarah McLachlan (in head)

Though I never say that I love you, I love you, darling I do

It's dead.

Over and done.

I have moved all my important documents to this (the "new") computer.

That god-dammed piece of junk that is trying to pass itself off as a computer has finally ticked me off enough to just pull the plug. It has frozen 5 times in a half hour-ish. Every time I restart, it has frozen within 5 minutes. It's a pain in the ass, especially considering that I'm trying to work on homework. I have lost SO MUCH WORK because it freezes or crashes or restarts itself before I get a chance to save, that it's just not worth it anymore.

I guess I'll try to configure all my email on this computer too. It's just...I don't know why it doesn't work. It's not responding to the usual ways I fix things...and it's really frustrating.

I loved that computer. It was amazing. It was slow and stupid and no longer efficient...but it was mine. I had claimed it as my own. I was the only one who used it. I kept it on all the time. It gave me my mail and provided me with hours of IM capabilities. It has all of my documents from the past 5 years...though most have long since been put onto a CD and deleted from the hard drive.

It's really sad to have an attachment to a machine like that. Especially since it was old and pretty damn crappy. But still. Dammit.

  • Current Music
    There We Are - James Taylor (in head)

There's nothing but the rain, no footsteps on the ground, I'm listening but there's no sound


This is taking so long. I think I've finally figured out how to get all my old mail into the folders on this computer, but damn is it taking a long time.


I'm so tired.

Tired like I haven't been in a while. Exhausted. Mentally and emotionally and physically.

I'm about ready to let go and cry, but it feels silly. And it's definitely about more than the stupid computer. There's college. And loneliness. And friends versus not-friends. Who are my friends?

I don't know so much anymore.

Things need to settle down. And until then, I'm just waiting. But for now...there's nothing but the rain
  • Current Music
    I'm With You - Avril Lavigne (in head)

But I have the sense to recognize that I don't know how to let you go

Definitely didn't watch the Grammys.

Definitely didn't get most of my homework done.

I have 5 of 8 of my Foreign Policy Diary entries done. Bugger. Three more...by Tuesday.

My dance paper is supposed to be due tomorrow-ish, but I won't be in class. THANK GOD. The presentation and poster are due around Thursday.

My English satire is due Wednesday.

I've decided to give up (for now) on my English reading book, because it's not due for another week. And though it's really slow-going, so I should be spending more time on it...it's not fitting into my busy schedule.

So to recap, that's:
-AFP Diaries due Tuesday
-Dance paper due Tuesday
-Satire due Wednesday
-Dance presentation due Thursday

Oh, and did I mention that this week starts tech week? Where I'll be at school until 9pm every day? 13 hours at school...every day for two weeks?

And I'm supposed to right my papers...when...?

*sigh* I'd blame this on procrastination, but it's so much easier to blame it on stress, New Orleans, missing school for Company, missing school for funerals, and the busyness of weekends that surround dances, trips and college visits.

I did however successfully move all of my old email (because there's a lot I don't delete) from the old computer to this one. And transfered my address book too. I had already moved my important documents and now the other computer has only my mp3 alarm clock running. After I wake up tomorrow, I'll shut it down, for an undisclosed amount of time. Poor computer. But I think we got it at the beginning of 1998. So that's 5 years. Hella long time for a PC, I suppose.

February was doomed from the start.

I want my bestest boy friend back. *sigh*

Screw it...I think I'm going to bed.

Collapse )


Oh, and did I mention?

I haven't been sleeping well...again.
I've been clenching my jaw...again.
I may have popped something in my eye...it's bloodshot. Again.

And Daddy tells me I have to know where I'm going to college by the time he goes out of town. I think that's Thursday.

Yeah...I'm a little stressed.
  • Current Music
    Do What You Have To Do - Sarah McLachlan (in head)