January 5th, 2003


I've been afraid of changing cause I've built my life around you


Interesting day.

Crew stuff went really well. We had a bunch of people come. Probably 25-ish crew and 7 cast. I was working with the cast and we got all of the metal risers taken down. The crew brought in and organized the lumber load. When all was said and done, we got a lot accomplished and had fun doing it.

Around 3-ish, we finished and went to Fuddrucker's for lunch. I ended up sitting at the end with the "alumni"...it was Eric, Chris Nayler, Lewis (who I hadn't seen since summer) and Jason. 'Twas quite the party. We ate, we talked, we had funny stories. And around 4:30, we decided to head out.

Candace, Jason, Charlie and John decided to come over to my house to play Starfarers. We did, but around 6:30, we got bored and Charlie went home, so we IMed Pat and all decided to go to Jason's to play Settlers for a bit, before walking across the street to Phatty's house.

So that's what we did.

At Phatty's, we made Mac and Cheese, played Halo (I'm getting really good!) and ... oh yeah. That was about it. Oh...and Phatty owes me a beatin'!
Pat: i owe you a punch
honeygailmarie: Ha ha...I knew you'd forget ;-)
Pat: that just means it has to be more painful when i remember
Pat: :-)
It's all fun and games when you're being beaten. He would have done it earlier, but he was in the middle of a game of Halo. God forbid!

So yeah. I'm in an oddly pensive place right now. I'm very mellow and calm, not really happy or sad...just here. And very full of thoughts.
  • Current Music
    Landslide - Dixie Chicks (cover in head)

And you really didn't think it would happen, but it really is the end of the line

So. Fucking. Tired.

Went to church this morning. For the next 5 (6?) weeks, I'm doing this rotation teaching thing with my sister. About Joseph and his brothers and how they were horrible to him and sold him into slavery.

We get the fun task of making the kids act out the scene where his brothers realize what they did was wrong and start to feel bad about it. Great...we get the fucking repentance part. Why couldn't we just decorate cookies like the family tree group?


So I've been up too long. And I was forced into a building that I cut ties from long ago (and will not be sucked back into. Just because I can't say 'no' to stupid shit like this...I will not go back).

And I should see if I have any homework. But screw that.

I need a nap. But I'm restless. Tired as fuck, but restless.

*sigh* I want to get out, but everyone else is doing homework. And it's fucking snowing. And has been all day. But it's barely below 32 degrees, because it's mostly melting once it hits the ground and not sticking so well. So everything is just really wet. With no hope for a snow day tomorrow.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Can this day be over?
  • Current Music
    Driftwood - Travis

(no subject)

I swear...I'm on the ball...

Welcome to my friend's list dantana, pocky_slash, and stephrene!

(Steph is an actual real life friend! Amazing, n'est pas?)


Today is my sister Fayanne's birthday. She's 23.

Ah. So old. And she's the closest to my age. I'm so young!

*sigh* So how 'bout that nap?
  • Current Music
    Follow the Light - Travis

Why does it always rain on me? Is it because I lied when I was 17...

It's 4:36...do you know where my family is?

No...seriously. Has anyone seen my mother? I'm pretty sure that Daddy is working, but I haven't heard from my mother since church.


Paranoia runs in the family. And I'd be fine if the roads weren't so damn slick today. I could just call her cell phone and find her but...I don't want to sound like I'm worried.

*sigh* Yeah, I'm nuts. You don't need to point that out.


I took a nap. It was nice. Restful. Now I'm just sort of groggy in one of those sad ways.

I may go upstairs and spend some quality time with the remote control and my beloved new MTV Hits channel.

Then again, they don't play Travis on MTV Hits. And I've thoroughly enjoyed listening to it all day (including during my nap).

Have I mentioned that tomorrow = school?

Have I mentioned that I don't want to go?
  • Current Music
    Why Does It Always Rain on Me - Travis

Cause nothing's going right, and everything's a mess


That's it. The end.

Winter Break is over.

It was a good 16 days.

One broken foot, a new pair of glasses, a new hair cut and 3 different color highlights. A couple family dinners, several friends gatherings, a bunch of movies. Lots of laughs, some tears.

It was good.

And tomorrow starts the shit that is school. The waking up every morning at 7:15 and hauling my ass off to school. 9 periods of class after class with not enough breaks to make it worth it. By the time I'm done wanting to beat my skull against a rock, I go to crew until at least 6, usually much later.

And then I'm come home. Tired. Bruised, broken and ready to end the miserable day. But I get to do homework first. So the clocks rolls around to 10. I give up, utterly defeated. Find what little relief the internet and my Journal has for me. Talk to friends and familiar faces whose faces are just as ghostly and lifeless after a full day as mine. And then shower and get into bed. Hopefully by midnight...but usually before 1.

Then in 6 hours and 15 minutes I get to wake up and do it all over again. A never ending cycle. Fuck.


Really, it's not too bad.

I have a shitty APES paper due Friday, that I should turn in on Wednesday, because I won't be here on Thursday or Friday...but we'll just have to see how that goes.

And English? Our final is fucking easy and we get time to work on it in class.

My monologue for Company is finished (we should be starting feedback tomorrow). Heh...it's completely my voice and my story, but different enough where I hope to accomplish an objective (though I'm not sure what that may be).

And I have two free periods tomorrow...three on Tuesday. And my theatre classes and chorus don't really count. I can't do gym with a broken foot...so maybe he'll give me the free period this whole week. (Ooo...that would be sweet. I'd just sit on the side anyway. I'll ask if I can just check in and leave everyday. I wonder if I should have gotten a doctor's note...)

And no school Thursday or Friday. Yeah Festival!!!

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. I'm off to bed.
  • Current Music
    I'm With You - Avril Lavigne (in head...it was on the radio)