July 23rd, 2002

...dreamers

Pat on the back and better luck next time

I think I'm going to cry again.

Candace wants to get a Journal.

As if I don't censor myself enough already.

And I saw this coming. Recently, I've felt it nearing. More and more people I actually know are going to wind up having them. I don't want to become friend's only. I don't want to have to make custom friends groups to weed out the people I don't want knowing certain things. I do that enough already, for god's sake. The fact that I do that at all upsets me. This would be worse because I trust the people who I know who have journals.

One more thing to close in on me. To cut off more of my air.

Christ.

I don't want to discourage it, because that's selfish of me. And this is a good outlet. But I take such ownership over this and there are some people I just don't want reading what I've written. There are so many whom I don't want to know how I'm feeling. Most people think I've been fine recently. I don't want them reading this finding out how shitty I've been feeling.

I swear to god. This would give me a reason to get one of those stupid ass uJournals. I haven't said anything thus far, but I think that's just dumb. There is no need for two journals, and I don't like the idea of just picking up and moving. Not to mention the fact that I have a permanant account here.

I WILL NOT BE PUSHED AWAY!

God, I don't know what to do. Maybe it will all blow over. Please god let it all blow over...

Edit: Due to some quick thinking on my part, I suggested that she get a uJournal, which will hopefully put enough distance between the two that she'll leave LJ alone. Maybe I can just keep suggesting that. Especially with the "no code" perks...
  • Current Music
    Heartbreak Town - Dixie Chicks (love this song)
...dreamers

Well it's more than a feeling when I hear that old song they used to play

Well, after the incredibly long bitchfest I took out on here last night, I slept. For about 11 hours.

Of course, I'm feeling better now. It's common knowledge that nights are harder than days.

But for now, I'm fine again. Car-less again. Which sucks because I took a couple pictures at Allie's last night. [The correlation between those is that the digital camera port thing is at Ci's house, and I can't get there from here without a car.]

Oh, and because I didn't mention it, Trivial Pursuit was fun. I won twice when it was just Jason, Allie and I. Then Rob and Charlie came and Chazz won twice, Allie once. She got 5 pie pieces on one turn though. And we play the easy way where you don't have to be on the pie spaces to get a pie piece, because we all suck too much for that.

So yeah. Not so much is up for now. Rejoice, I'm not going to bitch again for a while. :)
  • Current Music
    More Than a Feeling - NSYNC
Alanis - Unsexy

Keep spinning around, I know that it won't stop

Camping: I think I might have just planned something. Sweet. Might go off nicely...waiting to hear back from Charlie.

Got an email from Candace. She's getting a uJournal. But her away message just made me cry:
i'm usually not depressed and this feels weird to be...::sigh:: please don't bother me unless you have something happy to say. right now i'm putting my faith in the tv to cheer me up ::sigh::

Poor baby. I wish I could cheer her up.

*le sigh*
  • Current Music
    Sick Cycle Carousel - Lifehouse
...dreamers

Tell me before you get onto your high horse just what you expect me to do?

I took down my away message.

Considering that it's been up for a really long time because I haven't wanted to talk to anyone, this is a big deal.

And I've been listening to my Evita CDs all day.

Tentative plans for later (or at least what I'm thinking):
-Go to Candace's
-Play Starfarers
-Watch Evita
-Eat ice cream and cookie dough
-Cheer up Candace with all of the above

Yay!
  • Current Music
    Waltz for Eva and Che - Evita and Che (movie version)
...dreamers

And for the million hours that we were, well I'll smile and remember it all then I'll turn and go

Well, I have almost successfully forced two (2) people to shower! Hahahaha!

Yeah, they would have showered anyway, but I expedited the process.

I did. I swear.

Yeah, I'm gonna go over here and shut up now.....


Oh, and I really crack myself up sometimes:
Collapse )


Yeah...so sitting...over here. Shutting up. Right...
  • Current Music
    Champagne High - Sister Hazel