May 28th, 2002

...dreamers

Today is the greatest day I've ever known

How perfect that the Smashing Pumpkins serenade me right now.

Today has been excellent.

STUNTS Board applications were due. Friday I will know if I made it, and what position I am.

Also, I didn't remember until this morning that I was called out from 4-6 for a field trip to practice graduation. Chorale sings a few songs during the ceremony. Nothing to expedite your day like an unexpected field trip leaving me with 4 of 7 classes.

And, I went in to talk to my counselor and I asked about taking Multi-variable and dropping English to level two, and she said that it would probably work. WHEEE!!! My schedule might actually work!

Plus, I got my ACT scores in the mail. 28. To be honest, I was hoping for something in the low 30s, and I could retake them in June. (As far as subsections go, I got a 31 in Math. They keep telling me I'm good at it. I swear, I'm not really.) But seriously? Most schools don't need anything higher than that. So yay!!

And at 6 I get to go buy food and stuff for our annual Crew Kickball Day, which is Saturday.

And it's 74 degrees out!

On a more sour note, I have an entire English essay to write this weekend, 5 French journal entries to do by Friday, and a history project due next Tuesday. I have a History essay test Friday, and I'm actually still behind on the English reading, because I was supposed to read up to chapter 5 last night, not 2.

But I returned the movies this morning without a late fee, and made it to school in plenty of time!

And schedule works! and 28! and yay!!
  • Current Music
    Today is the Greatest - Smashing Pumpkins
...dreamers

Well I don't got no reasons, so there it is and there is was, now it was clear to all of us

Randomness:

Eminem scares me. Like, I'm afraid of him. There are very few people that I actually "fear", as in, fear for my life when I see them/encounter them. This kid Nathanial is another one in which I actually become afraid when I see him. It's strange.


These two girls were singing "Why Georgia" (the John Mayer song), in the hall today. I was amused.


I think I get the Harry Potter DVD today. [Edit: Cici said no Harry Potter. Damn. I'm bummed.]


Ben Affleck is hot.


I was quoting Empire Records like crazy today.
"Joe! I am bringing Rex his lunch!"
"I don't feel I need to explain my art to you, Warren."
"What's with today today?"


I've been in a very Metalica mood lately. Especially "Nothing Else Matters" and "Unforgiven" which I recently I found out that I can name either in less than three cords when it's on the radio. Woo!


I think I'm going to go do my English reading outside. I hope I don't lock myself out. Don't laugh...it's been done before. And people think I'm smart. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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There was more. I'll edit and add as I remember.
  • Current Mood
    Random
...dreamers

(no subject)

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Fun with modifying stuff.

Hee hee. *giggles because I'm 12*

So on my journal and friend's page, it no longer asks for comments.

To leave a comment it says: "work me, bitch"
And when I have a comment, it says: "# corners worked"

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I amuse myself greatly sometimes.



Oh, and if you are interested, and use Internet Explorer, there's a handy little wizard thing where you can change your commenty thing too! Pimpin' aint easy, but gotta give credit where credit is due:
BinaryUprising.com free LJ Comment Customization Generator.


[EDIT: Yep. Still amusing. Whee!]
  • Current Mood
    devious devious
Baby you're a big star now

We didn't start the fire, it was always burnin' since the world's been turnin'

A Journal about Journal.

The topic of my journal came up again today...in real life. However, instead of making this a "friend's only" post, or becoming self-conscious about what I've written, I'm taking a more objective look at why I have a journal in the first place. I also feel that I can trust the people who may be reading under these special circumstances.

I was accused of being an exhibitionist. Though this first prompted my mind to Holden Caulfield, I realized it's not far from the truth. I've always wanted and craved attention. Maybe it's from being the youngest. Maybe it's from being in a big family. Maybe it's just who I am. Though I work behind the scenes most often, I've never been afraid to reverse the role and take a chance in the limelight. (This is true both figuratively and metaphorically).

However, I rather resent the fact that this was the reason I got a journal. Initially, I read only my sister's (because she pushed for me to create an account of my own). I posted trite events and feelings I had about the day that had passed, or an upcoming event. Some things never change, I suppose. :)

But then I read other people's journals and be"friend"ed them. I got friends back, and soon I felt as though I knew people. At this point, nearly a year after starting my journal, I feel I have made actual friends. People I can talk to when I need them. They encourage and congratulate, send sympathy and their best wishes. I do the same to them. These people, my friends, know me better than many people I know in "real life". These people who live as far away as Kenya or Israel probably have a better understanding of "me" than my actual friends that I may see everyday.

I do write as though I have an audience, though I don't feel this makes me an exhibitionist. I've always been better at writing editorials and personal essays, stories from the first person, anything with direct interaction between reader and writer. However, I explain myself, not only for the people who read, but also for myself. Whether writing about my weekend so I remember, or talking about my feelings so that I can learn more about myself, it is as much for me as it is for anyone else.

I think the number one thing that this provides me is an outlet. Of course I make trivial posts. All the time, in fact. It's habit. I've made journaling so much of a second nature, that it is the first place I turn when I have news or a problem. It gives me a place to pound out anger, or search for sympathy from those who may know how I'm feeling. There's always someone to talk to. There's always someone to relate to. Like I said, I have made actual friends out of people by learning and interacting with them. And it's always easier to write about a situation than find time to call someone up. It helps me to organize my thoughts and feelings on an issue. It helps me to calm down, at times.

I could go on about the fabulous ways Journal has improved my life, though I don't think it has in any tremendous ways. Obviously, it's a different forum, and with that comes what seems to be big changes. However, in actuality it hasn't been completely life changing...though I have developed a habit of checking my email, and posting far too often. In any light, I know I have learned. I know I have expanded my horizons. I'd like to think I've become a better and more well-rounded person. Maybe that was bound to happen anyway, but it seems that journal must have has something to do with it. Some small part, at the very least.

I don't know if I've discovered a definitive answer to why I keep a journal. Whether I like the attention I get, or whether there is a personal and deeper meaning, I suppose I could only hypothesize. All I know is that I adore it. I take a strange ownership over things that I know well, and that I feel comfortable with. My English notebook, the script to "The Heidi Chronicles", my journal. Things so personal, yet so out there so that anyone may take them and make them their own.

Perhaps the reason I don't like to share them with people close to me is that I am afraid for them to learn who I really am, and what I really feel. I may be an exhibitionist, but I'm still a private person. I wear masks like anyone else, and don't always want to have the plaster broken.

But yes. This is my journal. To blatantly plagiarize MTV's Diary: "You think you know, but you have no idea."
  • Current Mood
    good good
Alanis - Unsexy

Waiting, watching the clock is 4 o'clock it's got to stop

Now for my real and unsubstantial post.

I have a large amount of meat in my refrigerator.

And a big box of Boca Burgers in the freezer.

And the back seat of my car is strewn with a bunch of bags of chips, buns, bottles of condiments and a blanket to cover.

And I have 4 large bags of charcoal as well as napkins and lighter fluid in my trunk.

And we were at Sam's Club. Hahaha.

But yes. That's all for the Crew Kickball thing on Saturday. I had to shower after hauling the 48 beef patties from my car to the basement. I like to eat meat, but transporting it makes me squeamish. Eh, I needed to shower tonight anyway, it was just earlier than I had planned.

I suppose I should start my homework before I decide to crash for the evening.

Graduation is tomorrow! I wish it were me! le sigh.


EHHHHHH! I love this song!!! "A Plain Morning" by Dashboard Confessional. Just...guh.
  • Current Music
    Better Man - Pearl Jam, A Plain Morning - DC