February 27th, 2002


Me, Myself, and I...a complecated trio

I am one of those people. The ones that you must take with a grain of salt. Or at least...I believe myself to be.

There are times when I'll think back to something I said and think, "Dammit, what the hell am I on? That's so stupid and not me." I can imagine the other person (today it's Amanda), rolling his or her eyes and later talking to someone else and saying "God, Gail was being so annoying...or shallow...or concieted...today". I guess I am, in a way, all of these things.

Now, I am not as bad as most, I'm sure. The girls who cause you to wonder if they even have a brain in their head. But nevertheless, I do things that even I regret. Something as stupid as saying if I were Esmeralda, I would pick Phoebus over Quasimodo. (French reference...I'm sorry).

I know that I do things that people probably talk about behind my back. And I know that I have to watch the things I say. I love Amanda, but I know that there are things I said to her today, that may come full circle. Those damn "Deerfield Secrets". Everyone keeps it to themselves...and one other person, and soon it's not even a secret. I do it too. Only when it's not important though. "So and so has a major crush on whoever". Big deal? So what? It's not like I would broadcast it, but maybe tell one person. Those things blow over anyways, and if I know it's an ACTUAL secret, hell, it doesn't leave my lips. I wouldn't even write it down, because...well, it's a secret.

This entry had no point, except to apparently bash myself. I apologize.
  • Current Music
    Bad Day - Fuel

In lighter news...

I didn't have tech today after all. Yay.

And I found the back to my earring that I lost THREE WEEKS AGO. Damn, I'm lucky.

I'm still tired. Exhausted really. And I got about 9 and a half hours of sleep. I should find a way to fix that.

I've been getting college crap like none other recently. It started with maybe two piece...every other day. Yesterday and today combined? 17. Eeep. I'm so behind in all this "college planning" crap. I haven't taken the ACT yet. (YIKES!!) Nor have I even stepped foot in the CCRC (College and Career Resource Center). I have no idea where I want to go...or what is even a possibility. *sighs* So much for "lighter news".

I need to go do homework stuff.
  • Current Music
    She Hates Me - Puddle of Mudd


The anger hurts my ears
been running strong for seven years
Rather then fix the problem
they never solve them
it makes no sense at all
I see them everyday
we get along so why can't they?
If this is what he wants
and its what she wants
then whys there so much pain?

Maybe there's a reason I stay locked in my room all the time. *sigh* I hate yelling.
  • Current Music
    Stay Together For the Kids - Blink 182

I think I'm the only one in the world not currently watching the Grammy's

Oh well.

I'm about, eh, half way done with homework...though I've sort of given up. My thoughts are far from math right now, and I'm much more concentrated on writing.

Also, have you ever found something that you obviously wrote, but don't remember...like at all? I swear, if it weren't in my personal folder, I would have sworn it wasn't mine.
  • Current Music
    Twenty One - Cranberries