September 11th, 2001

...dreamers

Pearl Harbor

For lack of a better title, I will title as they are relating the events of today to the attack on the Hawaiian military base disaster.

Weird. This day has just been weird. Off. Totally just...surreal. I first heard of the horrific events at 9am. It was right before the end of Physics and our Assistant Principal, Mr. Swanson and reported that the United States had been target of terrorist attacks. There was shock and disbelief and questions and, just, confusion. The bell rang and I walked to English. CNN was on in the room and we chose to watch it. It was almost creepy to think that I was watching as everything began to unfold. There was one Tower down when the coverage cut away for commercials (sick, commercials on CNN) around 9:10 (10:10 eastern time), and by the time it came back, another plane had crashed into the second Tower and they showed footage of the collapse. It was so emotional, or at least for me, knowing that there were people in that building. Innocent people who have nothing to do with Bin-Laden or Libya or Iraq or who ever the hell is sick enough to do shit like this, these people were killed. It was...so...incredible. I couldn't believe it. Then news came that the Pentagon had been hit, that most of New York was shut down, and that there was still one missing plane, thought to be near Pittsburgh.

I watched the new news coverage until after 5th period (about 12:15 central time). Nothing new had happened, but it was...comforting/seemed necessary to watch. I remember when JFK Jr.'s Plane went down and though nothing changed on the news, I watched MSNBC non-stop for 2 days. It just seemed right. Now, I have the FOX News Channel on.

So many things happened today. [I apologize right now for my lack of words. I can usually be rather eloquent, but not today.]
I hate people that don't see this as being a big deal. If it didn't directly effect them, they didn't care. So many times today I heard "Yeah! We don't have football today!" Do you realize *why* you don't have practice? Over 10,000 people lost their lives today, and all you care about is not playing football?
Then again, there wasn't a short of students and teacher today who had family or friends in New York and were trying to call all day. It amazed me how small the world is. Mrs. Johnson's sister (or friend or something related to her) was supposed to be a flight attendant on one of the 4 flights that went down today, but was in a car accident on the way to work, and was unable to go into work. Mr. Levy's daughter Beth (who graduated last year, and I know fairly well) goes to school at NYU and saw the second plane take down the second tower of the World Trade Center because she could see it from her dorm window.

It's a moral dilemma, really, on what to do when the terrorists are caught. I'm not a violent person. I do, however, think that whoever did this should be punished - to use President Bush's words. I'm also not a Bush fan, but I am in full support of whatever his plan is. This is his strength, and I will stand by his decision. Especially if it involves sending in the Black Ops or whomever to take care of the Terrorist attacks. No one deserves to kill thousands of people and get away with nothing. Jail-time, pish. "Of course I hope he dies, I hope he burns in hell." Though it sounds better coming from Samuel L Jackson in A Time to Kill, I actually feel this way. Horrible.

Y2K. A friend of mine pointed out how besides the fact that we have electricity, everything is very end-of-the-world-ish. Phone lines are fucked up. Stores, malls, schools, buildings are closing. Planes aren't running, people are panicked everywhere, no one knows what will happen. Everything is just...weird.

We just don't know. No one can tell what will happen. No one can say that the attacks are over. No one can say for sure that it was a foreign attack. No one knows how many lives were lost. We just don't know. Speculations. All day, just speculations.

Nothing will ever be the same. Tomorrow, there will still be this cloud over us. Tomorrow, though the fires may have gone out, and the damage done, there will still be the rubble. There will still be lost lives. There will still be a rage and a sadness from Americans. We will still want justice and peace. We will still hope that this had never happened. That perhaps, we had never woke up this morning, and it wasn't real. I hope that we don't just forget this day. Though horrific, I feel that we should remember and celebrate the lives lost. So many people were effected and it should not become just another fact in a history book.

Justice should be taken. We cannot just stand by and try to be the "bigger man". No, we need to do something big. Show our enemies out there that we cannot and will not be pushed around.

random - war
This cannot be an act of war if it was done by a terrorist group, only if by a State or Country.
This attack does not follow rules of war, and thus, war will not be declaired.
At this point, war is an inappropriate word to use, even if we do respond as many think we will.


Quotations from today.
...what was once the World Towers...

This is one of those events that stay with you forever. You will forever remember where you were when you heard of this event

It has been a day of chaos
  • Current Music
    Terrorism Hits America on FOX News Channel
...dreamers

(no subject)

It's hard to watch, but even harder to turn off.

I feel really helpless, like there's nothing I can do to help.

I'm restless.

It's hard to stand, but harder to sit.

My mind is blank, yet racing all at once.

I'm not hungry, but I keep eating.

I don't know what to do...
  • Current Music
    Senator John Warner at the Pentagon
...dreamers

Also,

My thought and prayers go out to those whose lives were lost today, and also for those family and friends of the victims of the terrorist attacks.
  • Current Mood
    Mournful
...dreamers

Tragedy brings us together....

Watching the Senetors in front of the Capitol. Democrats and Republicans fighting the same fight, striving for justice, and standing by the decision of the country they were elected to represent.
  • Current Music
    Bad Day - Fuel (background: News)
...dreamers

Small Entry

I received this in an Instant Message chain letter sort of thing. It's sort of mocking and rather making light of such a serious event, but I feel that I should pass it on.

"Personally, I'd like to see three towers built in their place, with the middle one much taller than the other two. That way, it would look like a giant middle finger, directed straight at the fuckers who did this."

**I don't necessarily agree with this statement, I'm actually not sure how I feel about it yet**
  • Current Music
    Mayor Giuliani talking about the Rescue Effort
...dreamers

Don't try to make no sense of the scene...

For the first time today, I've turned off the TV and tuned out the massive disaster.

The world seems to have an eerie mood about it. It's the same really, no less cars or people, but it's just so different. It's very creepy, and very scary.

I don't know why, but on my way home (I went to visit Ci because...well...I guess I just needed to be near someone and talk to someone, and I don't really communicate with my parents), I got really emotional. I guess I realized that everything is changing. Nothing will be the same. Though we may recover physically, the emotional wounds run deep right now.

I felt lost. Driving the course I know so well that I barely have to pay attention to where I'm going, and it felt odd. Wrong. Different.

I honestly don't know why. I mean...*blank*. I don't know. I should feel effected by this, and I do, but I didn't personally know anyone there. I have never been to the World Trade Center, nor did I really know what it was until today. Until it was too late.

This is one of those times that it seems wrong to be happy. It's a somber day. I like that it's somber, it means we are acknowledging and remembering the people who died today. But I get angry when people don't treat today as the somber memorial that I feel it should be. When one of my friends starts making a joke, or an off-handed comment that maybe we won't get homework tonight, and I get upset. That's just wrong and disrespectful.

I have a feeling tomorrow will be a hard day. Classes will try to commence as usual, and will only succeed in trying my nerves. I don't think I can handle normal classes. I need...a break.

One thing that stood out about today, that I forgot to mention early, was in French. Madame Wolf said to us that she never realized how much we meant to her, and that in light of this incident, she wanted to tell us that we were important and that she really looked forward to seeing us everyday. She started to cry a bit. It makes us realize that we are mortal, which is a very scary thought.

I don't think I mentioned this either. Last night, I wrote about how proud I was of my English story/assignment thing. It was a girl's reaction to the JFK assassination. This morning, when the announcement came over the intercom at my own school, I knew something was wrong. It was what I had written in my story, and I knew it would be bad. It was. And the similarities don't end there. My story contained silent halls, confused students, and crying teachers. Everyone trying to make sense of a tragedy, just like what happened today. It was a strange day from the start.

It's hard to believe that only 16 hours ago, life was normal and calm, or at least more normal and calm that now. The world has been turned upside down, and it's really starting to freak me out. I don't know where to go, who to turn to, or what to do to try and make my life more in order.

In the car home tonight, I was listening to my Tabitha's Secret CD, because it had songs that weren't too upbeat, and a generally somber tone. In the song "Unkind", it contains the words "and pain gives me the right to be unkind". All of a sudden, I didn't know how I felt about this statement. I feel like my values and ideas have been scrambled up, and I don't know where I stand on issues. I really want to see whomever was responsible for the crashes burned at the stake, but then again, I'm usually a peaceful person. I don't want to get into a war. With technology now, I have a feeling we wouldn't last long. Pain is hard to deal with, yes. I've had my share of pain in my life - trust me, it hurts. It hurts like hell. But does it give me the right to be unkind? I think I should be more tolerant, and understanding, having experienced such horrible tragedies. I should be open minded. But I find myself not. I don't know what's going on.

I guess I should go to bed. I mean, I have nothing else to do. I shouldn't watch more of the news. I've seen it all. I want to get my mind off of it, but not completely. Somber tones, Remembrance. These are top priorities, but they are giving me headaches, as are the tears that keep intruding in my eyes.

Love and Peace to all on this night, of September 11th, 2001.


Current Mood: Lost/Sad/Lonely/Scared/Confused/Upset/Blank