Gail (gailmarie) wrote,
Gail
gailmarie

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My family is crazy...

A little background: My cousin, Annette, who lives in Florida (the one I visit every year at Thanksgiving) has a fish named Chicken Pox. It's apparently not doing well, and she sent a mock email blaming my cousin Stephanie and I of doing something to it.

Something to note: The fish (Chicken Pox) is a beta and has this evil "raptor face" where it's fins or whatever around it's head pop out to look like the think from Jurassic Park. If you put your hands on your cheeks and mock it, it will make the raptor face. Steph and I enjoyed mocking the poor thing.

This is humorous. It's a little odd, but give me a break, alright. I just sent this in an email to my mom (who will forward it to every family member, no matter how little they care about the situation) and Annette.


****
The following work of fiction brought to you by Miss Gail Marie, while taking a break from homework at 11pm on a Tuesday night.

Tales from the Fish:

It was Stephanie, I tell you! All Stephanie! She�s the one to blame! Since the first moment we stepped foot in that apartment, she�s had her eye on that fish. Claiming to be "entertained" by it. Bah! She didn�t like it one bit! His "raptor face" creeped her out, until she just couldn�t take it anymore!!!

Um, so maybe that�s...uh...not the entire truth. Or any of it. Okay, okay. Fine.

You want the real story? Well, I went up to the apartment one day while the rest of you were sunbathing. As much as I love a tan, sun stroke was not a price I was willing to pay, so chilling out on the couch was an appealing alternative. I was about to hop in the shower, when Steph came up, and demanded that I wait. Not wanting to argue, I sat back down to watch Carson Daly on MTV. I was watching attentively and minding my own business when all of a sudden I heard this *THWAP*. Assuming it was Steph in the shower (perhaps she had dropped a bottle of shampoo), I continued to watch the TV. I heard it again, and glanced around the apartment. My eyes drifted toward the source of the noise. Chicken pox was swimming around, and running into the side of the tank! Confused and concerned for his wellbeing, I arose from the couch and crossed to the small tank. Flicking on the light, I noticed that the expression on his face was that of rage and evil. I was taken aback, and then more so when he began to smile a toothy grin with sharp and pointed fangs. Utterly disturbed, I began to back away slowly. He charged at the tank once more, and it was then that I noticed his size. He was getting huge. Transforming into a beastly type of fish. When he was practically the size of a barracuda, I decided it would be best to move the tank, to avoid him tipping it over. Just as I was about to save the monster from a certain doom, he leapt clean out of the tank and onto the floor. I jumped and ran to the kitchen to grab something to scoop him up with. Finding a dustpan and broom, and went back to the carpet where the fish had fallen, and was shocked to find that the creature had managed to move himself. Not only did he move, but he moved quickly, straight to the bathroom door with venom in his smile. Thinking quickly, I knocked him over the head with the end of the broom, and he fell to the floor with a thud. Shoveling him up with the dust pan, I lifted the nearly 5 pound fish and plopped him back into the water, placing a heavy paperweight on top of the tank to assure that he could not escape again. He drifted around in a daze, and settled around the bottom. Though I didn�t want to leave the tank unattended, I feared that he may once again plan an attack on the innocent girls left all alone in the apartment, so I sat back down on the couch and tried to relax. The next thing I knew, I was being awakened by Stephanie, saying that it was my turn to take a shower. Looking over at the tank, I saw that the paperweight had been moved and that Chicken pox was back to his normal size. I sighed with relief as I went into the bathroom. However, right before closing the door, I saw Steph giving the fish the "raptor face" and exclaiming "Ew, the floor is wet right here." Exactly the place where the fish had landed in my "dream". I stared in shock at the tank, and then Chicken pox turned to me...he gave me the most evil raptor face in the world, then grinned his toothy grin and winked his evil eye. He returned to normal before Steph could see, but I�m sure that the fish was truly demonic.

I don�t know if this solves the mystery or not, but perhaps demonic fish die more suddenly than normal one. Thus proving that it doesn�t pay to be an evil fish.

Fin.
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