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Final Dress went well. Really well. It was solely me in charge, which was great. I've learned so much and gotten such great experience by doing this show and being on Board. It's fantastic. Tomorrow is opening night. I'm a little worried, but what happens will happen, and that's that. I'm just going to do my best.

Umm...so I didn't do any homework last night except History. And that took me an hour, because I was so tired that my eyes wouldn't focus and I couldn't concentrate. I went to bed at eleven, purposely leaving on my lights, computer music, not getting dressed and not getting under covers. I figured I'd wake up around 3. I did. But I was too tired to get up to do homework, so I went back to bed. I'm now behind in Physics, English (whoa, like 7 chapters behind....ouch), and Calculus. And I don't have time to catch up yet. I'm hoping to do that Sunday, but knowing me, I probably won't have time. I never have time. I'm always busy.

So, whoo who! 7 and a half hours of sleep last night, but damn! didn't do homework.

I reconfirmed that my english teacher loves me today. I don't know if I mentioned the day I read one of my inclass writings outloud (he likes to get about 5 people to do this everyday...because we do a lot of writing). So he asked me to read mine, which was a prompt about a symbol. I chose Baby Suggs's hands, and wrote about them and that they symbolized the freedom she never had before. She finally owned her own hands. After I read it, he said "I also wrote about Baby Suggs's hands, though I didn't put it quite so eloquently." Yay me. And it was a total compliment. He tries to be really fair and always thanks people after they read, but you can tell when he really likes something.

So today, we were editing each other's assertions, because apparently the class doesn't know how to. So we did this thing where we rotate our papers and have the person next to us revise it and comment. The one I read had no assertion at all, so I gave a sample one (not really knowing if it's what it was supposed to be. I thought I was way off), but he came by, read it and said "That was very good. She just helped you out a lot. Great. Really great." Patted me on the back, then left. Yay me twice!!

I love english.

Why can't every class be like english. Oh well. I really have to talk to my councelor about Physics. Even if handing in the homework assignments can raise my grade from an E (we don't use "F"s) to a B, the D+ test I just took can't help at all. Fuck. I have never done this poorly in a class before....

[Sidenote: My english teacher was talking today and said something and used "bad" when it should have been poorly...and I had to bite my tongue not to correct it. I have a personal goal to get better at grammar, especially good/well, subjects vs. objects (like "She and I" versus "She and me"...but more complicated than that. Mostly in the 2nd and 3rd persons.), bad/poorly, mad(crazy)/angry. Mostly just using words the way they should be.]

....Anyway, physics is bad. I can't handle getting such a horrible grade, because I don't. That's so concieted of me, but I don't fail, and I don't want to start now. Eww.

Okay, going to go do English revisions, and Calculus before I will let myself online again. Wish me Luck!!


Dec. 13th, 2001 06:31 am (UTC)
Hi Sweetie
I wish just saying "Don't get too stressed about your classes, everything will turn out alright in the end," would actually make it happen. But we both know it doesn't work that way.

Just keep plugging along and people will notice. Talk to anyone you need to talk to; me, the teacher, a counselor, friends, whatever. People will and do notice how amazing you are and how hard you are trying. Mom even knows and is worried about you (and I don't say that to make you feel bad, I say that so you know that she will understand no matter what the outcome is).

You are streaching yourself so thin right now that it is bound to kick anyone's ass. Very soon, the show will be done, school will go on holiday break, and you, my dear, are ordered to get lots and lots of sleep. And to play with adorable kittens (one of which may be called JC and look shockingly similar to Dacey's kitten in the hamock icon! SQUEE!). Then, when school resumes, hopefully you will be refreshed and have some answers and be ready to face the challenges that are yet to come. Right now there is just too much going on.

Hang in there. I love you. If you need me, you know where I am!

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