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I sit here thinking...

...mostly of what I shall do now. I could go to bed. It is late, and I do have to be up in well under 6 hours. However, I should also study for my History test tomorrow. I think I know a lot, but it's not nearly enough. I've got the basic points to where I could explain them to others, and I could probably have an informal debate with someone over whether the Revolution was a reasonable reaction to Britain's actions after 1763. However, the general knowledge that I possess will not help me in the slightest with the multiple choice section. Multiple choice is easy right? Ha! Not for me. I'm so much better at essays that being given the answer. Hmmm...perhaps that's why I hate math and science so much. Definite answers. No give for creativity.

Anyway, it's basically down to being healthy or not. Being studious or not. Biological needs versus my conscience. I don't know.

I wrote a kick-ass journal entry for english. It was basically a response to my feelings over the past week, so I had a lot to say. Honestly, my prompt that I chose was on this quote"
"Only today matters. The past? Who cares. If you don't like where you are, literally or metaphorically, well, pick up stakes and move. There's plenty of land out there. Change your address, change your name, change your history. Who you were, or what you did yesterday, doesn't matter."
This is *exactly* what I've been saying. I don't want to be here. What I wouldn't give to just get up and go right now. Change my name, location, future. Start over. I'm too young to feel like I should be starting over, and I think that's the scariest part of it all.

I really have to get some sleep, and maybe I'll study a bit too. I don't know yet. Spontaneity is a wonderful thing.

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July 2008


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