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I could use another cigarette...

This is possibly TMI, but I woke up at 5:45am (an hour and a half before my alarm was set to go off) with ridiculously bad cramps. Lovely.

And perhaps some people would have been able to go back to sleep, but after popping a couple Advil I could see that sleep wasn't going to happen for me.

I decided to be productive and "just for fun" research some museums and possible internship programs for after I graduate.

Now granted I'm a little fatigued from lack of sleep and just now feeling relief in my nether regions, but it was entirely disheartening and possibly a little soul sucking.

A vast majority of the internships are unpaid (including the Musée d'Orsay, I checked). Of the ones that are paid, most want enrollment in a Master's program. Some even require being a PhD candidate. And one I found that seemed PERFECT...the application deadline was January 17th.

Not to mention that it all started me panicking because I have a terrible resumé with no real world experience and only 2 decent personal references.

So now I'm seriously concerned that I'll never be able to find a job, either within my field or without and I'm going to be in debt up to my eyeballs.

I think this is the part in life where one sinks or swims. And I still don't know how to swim.


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July 2008


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